Round 3/6 9th September

 Apologies for silence, but this week has been the roughest yet. Still, it's what I signed up for. Talking to the consultant next week, but I doubt there's much he can do to mitigate it. 

One difference is that for the last couple of weeks the effects have been more psychological than physical. I wake up in the night floored with guilt, and wondering why I think it's my fault that I have cancer. And runminating over all the bad decisions I have taken throughout my life. 

After all there is so much advice that we shouldn't smoke, we should exercise regularly, we should avoid ultra processed food etc. So I have cancer because I like M&S ready meals? Or because my ME/CFS makes me too weak to exercise? I walked for 10 minutes to the post office and could hardly move till the next afternoon.Of course, that's nuts, but guilt is apparently quite a common side effect of chemo brain. 

Ever onward and upward.

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